A Message From Your Leader:

One of the pieces I've recently been working on is a prequel to my own major project (a little something called Necrophenia that I've mentioned previously). This graphic novel has been circulating in my brainmind since the end of last year, and I am now at the exciting stage of being completely desperate to just get on and write the bloody thing. This prequel (or issue #0, if you like) gave me my first chance to work with a couple of the characters I've been developing, as well as delving into the world I've created. And I have to admit, I loved every bloody second. Not only that but I managed to bash out a complete draft in only 5 hours! And it's a fairly complicated beast, I'll have you know, with three seperate yet overlapping narratives at work.

Anyway, just for the sake of it I'll post below a short extract from that script. And no. You're not getting a context.

THIS IS THE BBC RUNNING ON THE EMERGENCY WAVELENGTH. THE DATE IS THE 16TH OF APRIL, 1964. IT’S 6 O’CLOCK. AFTER NEARLY SIX MONTHS OF AGGRESSIVE RETALIATION AGAINST THE UNFORTUNATE-INFECTED POPULATION OF THE NATION’S CAPITAL, THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT HAS CONFIRMED TODAY THAT THE AREA OF GREATER LONDON HAS BEEN DESIGNATED AN AMBER SAFE ZONE. THEY HAVE ALSO CONFIRMED THAT THIS AMBER SAFE RATING IS DUE TO CONTINUE TO SPREAD INTO THE SURROUNDING AREA WITHIN THE NEXT TWO WEEKS.

FROM TRAFALGAR SQUARE TODAY, ACTING PRIME MINISTER ALEC DOUGLAS-HOME HAD THIS TO SAY:

“THIS LAND IS BRITAIN. IT IS A SMALL COUNTRY CHALLENGED CONSTANTLY BY AN ENCIRCLING SEA THAT BEATS AND CHAFES ON THE ROCKY EDGES OF AN ISLAND.

IT IS A SMALL NATION THAT COVERS LESS LAND THAN ONE AMERICAN STATE AND IT IS SMALLER BY FAR THAN ONE SOVIET REPUBLIC. YET I STAND BEFORE YOU TODAY TO INFORM YOU THAT WE, THE PEOPLE OF GREAT BRITAIN, HAVE BEGUN TO RECLAIM THIS MODEST COUNTRY FROM THOSE UNFORTUNATE MANY WHO SEEK TO RAVAGE US AND OUR NEIGHBOURS.

AND THOUGH IT WILL CONTINUE TO TAKE A GREAT DEAL OF TIME, EFFORT AND RESOURCES WE WILL SOON AGAIN BE SAFE IN OUR HOMES, SAFE IN OUR CIIES AND SAFE ON OUR LAND.
TODAY THE BRITISH REACH ONE MORE PUNCTUATION MARK IN A LONG AND CROWDED STORY. HOW OFTEN HAVE WE BEEN WRITTEN OFF BY ENEMIES? AND HOW OFTEN HAVE WE CONFOUNDED THEM BY CONTINUING TO SURVIVE?”

AND WE WILL SURVIVE, BUT ONLY BY WORKING TOGETHER AND BY REBUILDING THIS COUNTRY WITH OUR BARE HANDS.”

ALHOUGH LONDON CENTRAL HAS NOW BEEN DECLARED AN AMBER SAFE ZONE, GOVERNMENT OFFICALS ARE RECOMMENDING THAT FAMILIES CONTINUE TO REMAIN INDOORS IN THEIR SAFHOUSES UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

CONTINUE TO RATION YOUR FOOD SUPPLY. WATER MUST BE RATIONED, AND ONLY USED ONLY FOR ESSENTIAL DRINKING AND COOKING PURPOSES. IT MUST NOT BE USED FOR FLUSHING LAVATORIES.

WE SHALL BE ON AIR EVERY HOUR, ON THE HOUR. STAY TUNED TO THIS WAVELENGTH, BUT SAVE YOUR BATTERIES AND SWITCH OFF YOUR RADIOS NOW.
THAT IS THE END OF THIS BROADCAST.
THAT IS THE END OF THIS BROADCAST.
THAT IS THE END OF THIS BROA*...

Uncharacteristically Goodtimes.

Most days that begin with throwing your alarm clock across the room in a fit of general indifference don't tend to get better with time; but it has to be said today turned out swell. So, like pissing by candlelight and finding yourself transfixed by the surprisingly generous shadow on the bathroom wall let me take a little time just to admire my Friday and, quite honestly, boast...

It began when I appeared at university to be met not only by one of my head mentors, but also praise. A collage piece of graphic fiction that I'd handed over only yesterday had gotten a sudden reaction and been passed onto her (her colleague and her family!) and had been much loved. So much so that I was told to do more. It was a piece I'd thrown together from this week's newspaper clippings about the much reported Japanese shitstorm. It wasn't insensitive, honest, more satirical and more about poking fun at the UK's media. Anyway, I got a lovely ego boost from it. Let me just say first of all that that just does not happen to me very often. So that was nice.

After that I had a really good, strong cup of coffee from the uni canteen. Let me just say first of all that that just does not happen to me very often. So that was nice too.

Next I got some genuinely inspirational networking and business-minded advice from Adrian Mead (writer, director and David Morrissey look-a-like) who was in giving us writers a lecture on just that. He not only managed to keep us all entertained for an entire Friday morning (no mean feat, let me tell you) but also present what could only be described as a "motivational talk" which even included heinous crimes against metaphor such as: "swimming in the sea of me" without sounding like a complete and utter cockrot tool.

Some of that networking advice was put to good use with our second guest lecture. The "genuinely nice bloke" and 2000AD artist for the past twenty five years Colin MacNeil came in for a chat about writer/artist collaborations and brought in some gorgeous artwork from one of his latest runs on Judge Dredd for us to drool over (fear not, Kleenex was on hand so there was no smudging). Afterwards, I put my new handshaking skills into practice and promised to buy him a pint at the next comic-con I happen to ee him at. I'd be a fool not to keep to that. He's certainly a contact I shouldn't ignore.

I assumed that was where todays greatness would end. We'd finish up, I'd head home, probably have a nap, or a wank, or wait until later in the evening so I could then watch the Red Nose Day Doctor Who skit on repeat and then have a wank over the two Amy Ponds that have been promised by the tv mags and online forums and then have a nap...

But there's one more slice of fried gold.

My mentor's comments on the aforementioned collage came as a bit of a surprise. Even after this mornings compliment I didn't expect: "a Chris Morris level of scathing social commentary and satire..." "a stunning piece of work" "awesome" "ridiculously offensive" or, my personal favourite "if this goes online you better be prepared to be burned at the stake. Only, knowing you, you'd probably just use it to light a cigarette."

So I'll get it online as soon as I can. Stay tuned.