Things That Annoy AlyMondo #3...

Glaswegian Monks

Glaswegian Monk: "Hi there. Was just wondering if you had a minute?"

Mondo: "Um, well, I've just finished work so..."

GM: "I am part of a group of glaswegian monks and was just wondering if you could spare anything?"

M: "Sorry? I've nothing on me."

GM: "That's ok. We spend our time travelling around cities and we're here this week talking to the happy people of Aberdeen..."

M: "Really? Happy people? Aberdeen?"

GM: "Yes."

M: "Well I don't have any cash on me, so..."

GM: "No no. That's ok..."

M: "So... Do you have like a website or anything?"

GM: "YES!"

M: "So... The address?"

GM: "Oh, eh, I don't remember it but that's ok we were just wondering if you could donate some milk?"

M: "Milk?"

GM: "Yes. Just pop off and buy us some milk. You see we live on your donations."

M: "What!? You want me to go and buy you some milk?"

GM: "Yes."

M: "So YOU are the charity then?"

GM: "Yes. That's how we work."

M: "Are you serious? No! Anyway I don't have any cash."

GM: "Yes, I'm serious. It's all very above board (flashes ID card) and it's ok if you don't have any cash. Do you have a card? You could just nip to Somerfield round the corner and buy some milk."

M: "Well I'm a bit skint myself just now, how about you nip off and donate me a packet of fags?"

GM: "Um, no that's ok. Thanks though. Can I maybe ask you to say something... Gouranga! It means 'Be Happy!"

M: "Get fucked."

AlyMondo - not a big fan of charity.